its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
