it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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