Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
