i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
