yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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