I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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