Kiss
Puke
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
