every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
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