Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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