no, he came in my armpit
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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