if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
