I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
