I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
