you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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