the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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