id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
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