i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
