drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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