Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize