so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
