So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
