So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
This is my life. Enjoy the view
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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