I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
try to milk me bitch
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