Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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