WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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