Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You ate ashes out of my bong
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
