if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
