There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
