And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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