Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
