dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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