1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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