the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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