Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
