If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Randomize
