worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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