Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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