We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
