your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
