How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
