i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
