Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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