You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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