I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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