I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
it's like iHOP with fire
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize