Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
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