when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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