i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
