I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
