took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
