Ambien. No doubt about it.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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