Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize