Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
