just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
