I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
