I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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