My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Randomize
