Little spoons don't ask big questions
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
