they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
