Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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