So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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