Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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