Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
