the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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