I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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