votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
